YOU'RE WRONG

THE SCENARIO: Someone says to you “you’re wrong” in an area you feel strongly about. How would a follower of Jesus Christ conduct themselves in the following scenarios:

1. As a pastor, you are told that your theology is amiss—(a) By a fellow pastor. (b) By a member of your congregation. (c) By three members of your congregation. (d) By an elder. (e) By a friend. (f) By a family member (a-f are isolated engagements).

2. Let's turn things around for a moment and consider someone you are witnessing to about Jesus Christ. Suppose you know that they feel quite strongly about their non-Christian philosophy, or religion, or spirituality—do you tell them they are wrong (defend your answer Scripturally). What is the right approach (consider everything from your tone/personal presence, to the words you utilize; what in fact are the essential claims of Christianity to share here). Does one “pull any punches” for the sake of tact so as to not turn folk away from Christ? How did Jesus handle this in His ministry—was He always “tactful”—give biblical precedents and try to discern His main thrust in these precedents. How about someone who feels quite strongly about their atheism—should they be told they are wrong; how? What is the role of the Holy Spirit here, and does He do all the work (does He depend on us for certain things, and if so, what are they; defend Scripturally).

3. The conviction of sin is perhaps the most piercing judgment of wrong. Suppose someone told you your behavior was sinful. Suppose you were told this by (a) A parent. (b) A daughter or son. (c) A sibling. (d) A friend. (e) Your pastor. (f) That still small voice in your spirit. Now suppose a-e related a specific behavior to you, but you could actually prove them wrong—what is your demeanor as you make your case to a-e (Jesus was falsely accused). Suppose you knew they were right—what is your demeanor in this case.

4. You have confessed along the way that you are a Christian to various folk in your office. You are thoroughly convinced that your office mate, a friend, stole your personal laptop computer (suppose there is no real animosity at play here). Probing to justify your conviction, you discuss your suspicion with several mutual friends, only to discover that you are grossly wrong (the computer is recovered in such a way that it could not possibly have been stolen—your suspicion and actions were totally wrong). This point stirs up a hornet's nest of problems that range from loss of witnessing power due to the gossip/slanderous nature of your approach, to probable loss of friendship/s. Moreover, the damage done may be irreparable. Nevertheless, there are required courses of action for a Christian who has stumbled and slandered/gossiped, as also for offended Christian friends; there are biblical precedents for both. In the outworking of this scenario, consider what a Christian would do over and above what an unbeliever would also feel obligated to do, on both sides of the fence. This one is a tough one—no doubt a lot easier to write/read about than to actually have to live through. Christ help us to avoid these in reality.

5. Who told the prodigal son he was wrong, and how Luk 15:11-32). When Nathan pointed his finger at David and said to him, 'you are the (guilty) man' (2Sa 12:1-7), David, like the prodigal son, knew his judge was right. How were David and the prodigal's actions similar both before and after their conviction of wrongdoing; how were they different. Notice that the prodigal had to “come into want” before he was ready to agree with his judge, and David had to be “found out” before he was ready to agree with his judge. These accounts are probably fairly typical of most of us. Christ help us to agree with His convicting and guiding Spirit long before the prodigal and David did here—but if it can't be sooner, then, at the least, let it be later.

6. It is clear that being told one is wrong can be a tremendous blessing. Can you find three biblical precedents where a biblical figure was bent passionately in a given direction, but God warned of danger, or error, or trouble, or potential loss of fellowship with God, either through spiritual conviction, or outright through a prophet, or otherwise, the figure heeded and turned, and it resulted in untold blessings (either for them, or their family, or their community/nation). How about three instances where the figure did not heed—what happened in those cases. Toward the same end, how does God get our attention today.

   6a-In a more secular vein for the moment, there are not a few examples where science has passionately pursued a particular hypothesis in spite of sound (evidential) counsel to the contrary. Consider the adverse effects of such pursuit with respect to advances in medicine and engineering, for example.

7. If you happen to have a piece of paper and a pencil handy, write down three things, if applicable, that you dislike most about being told “you're wrong;” write down three times where such counsel has blessed you.

Some points for reflection in the outworking of 1-7 might be:

• Is the issue debatable; is the other party open to other opinions; how can you tell if they really mean you harm (no doubt these have Spirit-sensitive answers, that is, would you agree that a generally Jesus-prioritized walk with God clears the way for one to hear Him give guidance here).

• Is it wise to defend your position, even if it is a biblical issue, because defense might just turn folk away from Christ.

• How do hurt feelings and pride get in the way of proper Christian conduct in these type of scenarios. Perhaps the better question here is the direct one—would you agree that hurt feelings and pride more often than not deprive us of the blessing attending the sound counsel of “you're wrong.”

• What is the role of ignorance; the role of short-sightedness, in these scenarios.

• The role of one's personal presence, that is, tone, facial expression, words, etc., from the vantage point of both the one being told as also the one telling of the wrong.

• It is quite natural for us to almost with”knee-jerk” reaction endeavor to defend/justify ourselves when told we're wrong. One has to have a sound basis for discretion here between-self-defense, self-gratification, self-promotion, and self-will, and that basis should hopefully emerge, at least in part, in the discussion of 1-7. Hopefully, for all of us, that basis is rooted in the commands, and life, and teachings, of Jesus Christ.

SCRIPTURE REFERENCE LEGEND

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